Review: Raphael

Raphael by D.B. Reynolds
Series: Vampires in America (#1)
Rating: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

Malibu, California-home to rock-and-roll gods and movie stars, the beautiful, the rich… and vampires.

Powerful and charismatic, Raphael is a Vampire Lord, one of the few who hold the power of life and death over every vampire in existence. Thousands call him Master and have pledged absolute loyalty on their very lives. But when, in a brazen and deadly daylight attack, a gang of human killers kidnaps the one female vampire he’d give his life for, Raphael turns to a human investigator to find his enemies before it’s too late.

Cynthia Leighton is smart, tough and sexy, a private investigator and former cop who’s tired of spying on cheating spouses and digging out old bank accounts. When Raphael asks for her help in tracking down the kidnappers, Cyn’s happy to accept. But she soon realizes her greatest danger comes not from the humans, but from Raphael himself.

Battling Russian mobsters and treacherous vampires, and betrayed by those they trusted, Cyn and Raphael find themselves fighting for their lives while caught up in a passion of blood and violence that is destined to destroy them both.

You ever find yourself reading a book and all you can think about is how you’re pretty sure you should give a fuck? You keep reading because maybe on the next page you’ll find that fuck you should give. Perhaps it’ll be on the next page…nope…the page after that…nope…the page after that…nope. Fifty more pages and still no fucks have been found.

Le sigh.

It’s frustrating because you’re pretty sure that the book isn’t a bad book and so you stubbornly read on even when it isn’t working for you because you keep hoping that something will click and you’ll become engaged in the story. But then maybe your mind begins to drift and something distracts you, like, for instance, when you open your web browser and start searching for a gif to use during a status update.

20 minutes later…
Ooh look, sleepy kittehs! Awwww…

20 minutes later…
OMG dogs are so dumb sometimes! LOOOL!

Another two and a half hours pass and you’re watching Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent audition and ugly crying into your pillow when suddenly you wonder how the hell you got there.

Yeah, that.