Never Deal with Dragons by Lorenda Christensen
Series: Never Deal with Dragons (#1)
Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
Consoling a sobbing dragon and serving pig buffets are just part of the job for Myrna Banks. Working for a mediation firm, it’s her job to get humans compensated for damages caused by the dragons who now rule. But her “typical” day is interrupted by Trian Chobardan, an old flame who sneaked out of her bed two years ago, taking her heart and a handful of classified documents with him.
Myrna would love to show Trian the door, but he’s been sent by North America’s reigning dragon lord for help negotiating a truce with a powerful rival to avert war. Myrna agrees to help, even though she’ll be stuck with Trian as a partner.
As the two work together, Myrna finds Trian to be surprisingly supportive—and still irresistibly attractive. Though her brain tells her not to forget his betrayal, her body feels differently. When they learn the enemy dragon lord is planning something no one could have imagined, Myrna has to learn who she can trust before she loses not only her heart, but her life.
I picked this up and buddy read it with two friends because we thought it would be dragon porn. Hey, don’t judge us; look at that damn cover, dude has Mushu crawling up his arm.
Anywho, we’d just come off of reading a book that seemed like it would be gargoyle porn (see, I really hoped) but ended up being a frigging fantastic beginning to a UF series instead. We ALL loved it. So we figured we’d continue the creature-feature theme.
This book is not dragon porn. At first I was disappointed by that (okay, NOW you can judge me). This is also better classified as a UF. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I really liked this book. The MC was quirky, funny, and was able to stay calm in the face of dragon vomit. Not only that, but the world building was pretty nifty too. Alright so the Frankenscience behind the dragon lore was laughable but I could deal with it when it was surrounded by so much awesome. Then we meet the love interest, Trian.
Le douche.
Le douchey douche.
Le FUCKING douche.
You get the picture. The dude is a douchecopter. He and the MC, Myrna, used to date. They dated for a year, in fact. Then, out of nowhere, he stole a bunch of her classified work papers, broke up with her via a fucking two line note and disappeared. Her career was OBVIOUSLY ruined because of this and so now she’s stuck in a shitty job, working for a shitty boss with no hope of being promoted out of it because the man she answers to is useless and she does all his work for him.
So out of the blue, Trian, THE DOUCHEKNUCKLE, comes waltzing back into her life, and she is ALL ABOUT IT.
Hold the fucking phone. This dude broke your heart, ruined your career and fucking LIED to you about your entire relationship and you’re checking him out?
Pardon me, I have a strong and sudden urge to vomit.
Throughout the rest of the book he continues to prove how utterly untrustworthy he is and she continues to lust after him. I hated his ass. I didn’t find one fucking redeeming quality in him.
All their drama comes to a head when he admits that even though there were extenuating circumstances surrounding just WHY he stole those docs from her, he didn’t have toleave her. He did that because his boss suggested he should.
Ah, true love.
Apparently admitting that you’re a lying, manipulative bastard that will leave your partner because your boss FUCKING SUGGESTS you do is an aphrodisiac, as it leads to her immediately declaring her love for him.
Fuck. My. Life.
On top of this, the plot twists were obvious to the reader but Myrna couldn’t see the clues coming even when they were pretty much lit up like Christmas trees.
So in short, interesting premise, promising start, horrifically stupid main characters.
Leave a Reply